The pains of Nostalgia

To begin with, let me wish everyone a very happy durga puja. Hope Maa will bless one and all so that the lives become more colorful.

Nostalgia: a longing for the past, often in idealized form (as Wikipedia describes). Absolutely true. A longing. A longing for the cherished days once celebrated. A longing for those days when u witnessed and experienced those wonderful phases of your life.

Now, what’s the connection between Durga Puja and such nostalgia? and that too in my words? I have seen many people who like to cherish the celebrations sitting pretty in the couch and viewing all the happenings through the idiot box. There are many reasons for that. Hugh traffic in the roads of city of joy all through 24 hrs of the day, millions of people thronging the streets hardly leave one any space to roam freely.

But there are many many people who like to soak in the ambience by being in that clogged crowd. And one such person is me. But puja this year is completely different for me. I fall into the first category this time whereas I always prefer and exist in the latter half of the crowd.

The decision was not by choice. Never will it be. And that makes me ask the goddess: Why so? What have I done to suffer such pains being confined at home? What have I done so that u didn’t allow me to visit u in different pandals to offer my puja? I really need an answer.

The nostalgia of yesteryears thus, continue to visit and hurt me very badly. Those days when my French sister visited Kolkata with my best friend also being present, the days when I visited an ancestral zamindar house puja, visited eateries with the entire family and obviously pandal hopping...overpowering all the heat and crowd pressure.

I sincerely hope that everyone enjoys the puja to the maximum and not suffer like me. Being an optimist, I hope next year will be entirely different with my life partner in tow and with all the family members together. But, really I am clueless. Don’t know that this type of experience is the only one in my life or is just the beginning for many to follow.

Though it’s barely 2 days into the puja, for me, its already time to say: ASCHE BOCHOR ABAR HOBE... (Or maybe ASCHE BOCHOR HOITO HOBE)