The pains of Nostalgia

To begin with, let me wish everyone a very happy durga puja. Hope Maa will bless one and all so that the lives become more colorful.

Nostalgia: a longing for the past, often in idealized form (as Wikipedia describes). Absolutely true. A longing. A longing for the cherished days once celebrated. A longing for those days when u witnessed and experienced those wonderful phases of your life.

Now, what’s the connection between Durga Puja and such nostalgia? and that too in my words? I have seen many people who like to cherish the celebrations sitting pretty in the couch and viewing all the happenings through the idiot box. There are many reasons for that. Hugh traffic in the roads of city of joy all through 24 hrs of the day, millions of people thronging the streets hardly leave one any space to roam freely.

But there are many many people who like to soak in the ambience by being in that clogged crowd. And one such person is me. But puja this year is completely different for me. I fall into the first category this time whereas I always prefer and exist in the latter half of the crowd.

The decision was not by choice. Never will it be. And that makes me ask the goddess: Why so? What have I done to suffer such pains being confined at home? What have I done so that u didn’t allow me to visit u in different pandals to offer my puja? I really need an answer.

The nostalgia of yesteryears thus, continue to visit and hurt me very badly. Those days when my French sister visited Kolkata with my best friend also being present, the days when I visited an ancestral zamindar house puja, visited eateries with the entire family and obviously pandal hopping...overpowering all the heat and crowd pressure.

I sincerely hope that everyone enjoys the puja to the maximum and not suffer like me. Being an optimist, I hope next year will be entirely different with my life partner in tow and with all the family members together. But, really I am clueless. Don’t know that this type of experience is the only one in my life or is just the beginning for many to follow.

Though it’s barely 2 days into the puja, for me, its already time to say: ASCHE BOCHOR ABAR HOBE... (Or maybe ASCHE BOCHOR HOITO HOBE)

THE BIGGEST EVENT

There are many things in this world….Spiritual, sports, politics etc. etc. that keep all the bongs scattered throughout the globe, united and tied up together…Be it the works of the master Ray, or the classic square drives of the Maharaja, or be it the world renowned delicacies of K C Das and Bhim Nag or be it the all-time romance oozing out from the charismatic Uttam Kumar or from the golden voice of Manna Dey. But these are multiple things to be considered. There is one single thing and when that thing comes up, the mind and heart of each and every Bong tries to be with his/her family and that is the DURGA PUJA.

The 5 days are those days where you won’t find any street, lane, by lane almost any place in the City of Joy without lights. The streets are always filled up with constant hustle and bustle as if there is no end to the day. People from all age groups…from a month old baby to old age home inmates…everyone surrenders oneself to the ocean of madness.

But, over and above, it’s the emotion that plays a major part. Durga puja might be the biggest reason of celebration but for some people, there reside a sensitive, lot of cherished memories with loved ones surrounding the mega annual event. Those loved people might not be with us anymore, but the nostalgia lives on and hits more when the goddess with ten hands and 4 children lands up to lighten and brighten up our lives every year.

Now the question is: why am I writing about this topic?
Well, the point is: Yesterday, a very close relative of my closest friend was narrating some incidents of the past which took place during several Durga Pujas in the ancestral house. They used to conduct plays where everyone in the family, irrespective of age had to mandatorily participate for the audience which comprised families of families (like in-laws of sons, daughters etc. etc.). She was saying that all the front stage show was managed by her but the organizing part and especially the back end details were ably handled by her husband.

All through I was listening to her narration of those hilarious moments, those fun filled time and the never ending nostalgia, I was trying to figure out her emotions while she spoke of her husband. Because He is no more, but as I said, the memories live on.

I know the lady for a fairly good time now and the only thing that makes her stand apart is the smile she carries with her every time. And that’s the biggest thing I admire her for. Maybe, it’s the same Goddess’ will that she can continue her life with the wonderful smile and the memories of her wonderful past.

1 and half months more...and that time of the year will be back...where all types of emotions will again mingle and will make another Durga Puja a wonderful memory for many many other people.

MUMBAI: THE LEARNING CURVE

Days have changed, Lives have changed and so have increased the distances. But the most painful thing which has happened is the nostalgia which increases every day, every hour, every second.

It’s awesome to be back in Kolkata, my home town after spans of hardships in Bangalore and in the obscure town of Vijayawada. Mumbai has also given me immense pain, some desired and wanted, some thrashed upon. But the experience has left such a thumping impression in this mind…simply unforgettable.

I don’t know whether it’s the charm of the city or the first-time experience of a student life outside the homely boundaries, but the memories of every nook and corner of the city and those small but gifted memories moisten my eyes every time I think of those.

The vada pao stall in front of NM, the effervescent crowd in front of Chandan every Friday, the long chat sessions at Cooper, the long waiting crowd at Pop Tates, the always-welcome Auntie at Chinese Corner, the paan wala at 7 Bungalows, the smell of freshly cooked Tandoori at Just Punjab, the midnight train from Vile Parle, that walk with the loved one at Marine Drive..the list is endless and so are the memories…

One thing which must be mentioned and which was the crux of all these nostalgia: NMIMS. Initial days of fun at DIV D, late night parties, watching World Cup matches with the entire hostel in tow, followed by extreme humiliation some invited and some forced upon, spending nights at college, sleeping in library floors, the stay at Mira Road, that marked chair and long hours at Library, taunts and laughter from my batch mates and even from juniors, that lonely phase where I had very few people by my side….everything, simply everything pierced me, cut me into pieces but taught me a lot and changed my attitude towards life forever.

And for these reasons, people like:
Deven (I consider him as a part of my life…Miss U Brother)
Shruti (Though many people say many things about her, I respect her for the trust she had in me)
Poo (Though we had our differences, I always knew that she was always with me and will be. I still remember the tears we shared in our farewell party, which, to me, proved that we share a far bigger relationship than being just a friend…Love u SIS)

Laboni, Kapil, Aurelie, Caroline, Smita, Deepti…I love u all

Cheers

TG

U & Only U

Bakhuda tumhi ho,
Har jagah tumhi ho,
Haan mein dekhua jahan jab,
Uss jagah tumhi ho,
Yeh jahan tumhi ho,
Wo jahan tumhi ho,
Iss zameen se falak ke,
Darmiyaann..tumhi ho,
Tum hi ho, beshumaar,
Tum hi ho..
Tum hi ho, mujh mein haan,
Tum hi ho..Tum hi ho..




Kaise bataye tumhe,
Aur kis tarah yeh,
Kitna tumhe hum chahte hai,
Saaya bhi tera dikhe,
To paas jaake,
Usmein simat hum jaate hai,

Raasta tum hi ho,
Rehnuman tum hi ho,
Jiski khwahish hai humko,
Wo panah tum hi ho,
Tum hi ho, beshumaar,
Tum hi ho..
Tum hi ho, mujh mein haan,
Tum hi ho..



Tu hi ehsason mein,
Tu hi jazbaton mein,
Tu hi lamhaton mein,
Tu hi din raaton mein..

Kaise bataye tumhe,
shab mein tumhare,
Khwaab haseen jo aate hai,
Kaise bataye tumhe,
Lamz wo saare,
Jism ko jo mehkate hai

Iftida tum hi ho
Intehaan tum hi to
Tum ho jeene ka maksad
Aur wajah tum hi ho..



Bakhuda tumhi ho,
Har jagah tumhi ho,
Haan mein dekhua jahan jab,
Uss jagah tumhi ho,
Yeh jahan tumhi ho,
Wo jahan tumhi ho,
Iss zameen se falak ke,
Darmiyaann..tumhi ho,
Tum hi ho, beshumaar,
Tum hi ho..
Tum hi ho, mujh mein haan,
Tum hi ho..Tum hi ho..

Miss both of u...everytime

Aj ei post ta echche hoche Bangala i likhi...sorry everyone..some things get better emoted thru ur mother tongue !!!!

besi kichu lekhar nei..karon besir bhag kothai mone theke jai..emotion e chapa..sei gulo k lekhay futie tola amar pokhe khub kostokor...tobu ja bhabi...ja bhabai....seigulo lekhar chesta to korai jai !!!!

Sokale ghum theke uthei tomader mone pore...kadi..thakur k boli...pathie dao..amader du jonkei Kolkatai pathie dao...phone kori..kotha boli...kanna chepe...sob somoi tomader kotha bhabi...ki korcho ki bhabcho...majhe majhei phone korar chesta kori..ekmatro otai to mode of communication...mon kharap hoi...j sob bondhura kolkatai chakri nie ache tader opor hingshe hoi...majhe majhei chobi dekhi tomader...kotodin j dekhini...echche hoi chobitei tomader songe kotha boli...


Saradin tomra amar songe thako..kintu thekeo jeno mone hoi..ami eka..sompurno eka...rastay chola ferar somoi, sokal bikel khaoar somoi, gan shonar shomoi...sob shomoi tomra amay jure acho...

Christmas kal..r ek soptah pore new year...sei sokal sokal uthe cake kata..gorom coffee r songe 3 jon e mile khaoa, new year r alo jholmol park street, shiter dupure Boi mela..shob ache..thakbe...kintu ami j eka...onek dure..

Tomader o mon kharap hoi..jani..aj 3 bochor hote chollo...amra alada..ekshonge thakar sei dingulo kromagoto mone pore...mone porlei mon kharap kore...aro ekshonge thakar echche barai...kintu tar shonge ei proshno o jigesh kore "ABAR KOBE THEKE ?"

MISS BOTH OF U...A LOT...

Bhalo theko..joto durei thaki..jotoi ragaragi kori phone e..tomra amar pran..tomader chara ami bachte parbona..

shob sheshe janai...onek dur theke tomader cheler bhalobasha r

Merry Christmas and a Very Very Happy New Year..asha kori 2009 abar amader ekshonge anbe...

The changing face of weekends

My days at Vijayawada rolls on...and more and more fond memories from the past continues to crowd my hippocampus....More so during the weekends which used to be so rosy some days back

They say Life always completes a full circle..and true it is...

Still clearly remember those childhood sundays...Hindi Film music was the morning alarm courtsey Rangoli...brimming across the neighbourhood houses..followed by a finger-licking breakfast from the best kitchen in the world...accompanied by either Duck Tales or Alice In Wonderland adventures...and later on the greatest offering on Indian Televison by B R Chopra, which acted as a red light to the daily chores forcing everyone to remain glued to their favorite couch seats...which was succeeded by a sumptuous meal bringing with it a nice, decent siesta....

Childhood gave way to youth days and as a Hostelier...the ordeal was somthing different. Classes, movies, coffee, assignments and dining out..those days are still frsh in the memory.

The circle continued to traverse its path with my intro to the corporate world...Staying away from Home surely had its impact but with the company of friends and my loved one, weekend was a part of the week eagerly looked forward to... Shopping malls, Multiplexes, CCDs, KFC and over and above, someone to spend time with after a weeks work...

As I m writing this post, I hope the circle is in the process of completing its travel as I am in the miidle of Coastal AP, on the halfway line of my stint with nothing to do these Sundays...and thats how weekend has changed....

ADIOS
TG

ADJUSTMENTS

Change is constant...so they say..and its true..who culd have imagined a boy from a dingy school in South Kolkata who never stepped out of his town, going to the city of dreams for Higher studies, landing in a soup, living his life out exploring the sights and sounds of suburban Mumbai and then setting his foot Down Under (not Australia mate...South India) and that too a upcountry location....

But one thing which has made this boy survive everything and still going strong is his nature of adjustment to every situation...or one can say, moulding his life in a standard way ireespective of the place watever be the pros and cons of the place may be

Its been a short but a journey full of bizzare experiences and exploring various facades of life. From the Mocha of Juhu to the only eatery at night at Mira Road, the assuring hall of Sai Suraj Hostel to the dingy 4 people sharing room at Bhayander, from the PG at Vile Parle to the room at Vijayawada, from Cooper and KFC to the habituated dinner of noodles (hail NESTLE for that), from the varied breakfasts at home to the staple Britannia diet everyday...this life so far has seen a lot...with a great cushion of Adjustment..burdened by Responsibilities

It is very much true that these adjustments were never forced on me..I had ample opportunity to adjust in a different way which wouldn't have made me to write this post today...but the sense of future responsibilities and the ever continuing monetary woes acted as a great catalyst for the same

Whatever be the reasons, at the end of the day, I feel that these adjustments are making me stronger day by day, although my fiancee and parents strongly object to my way of adjustment...but its my take, my choice and my way of living (or rather say sacrifice)....to make my future a future without any such adjustments...