ADJUSTMENTS

Change is constant...so they say..and its true..who culd have imagined a boy from a dingy school in South Kolkata who never stepped out of his town, going to the city of dreams for Higher studies, landing in a soup, living his life out exploring the sights and sounds of suburban Mumbai and then setting his foot Down Under (not Australia mate...South India) and that too a upcountry location....

But one thing which has made this boy survive everything and still going strong is his nature of adjustment to every situation...or one can say, moulding his life in a standard way ireespective of the place watever be the pros and cons of the place may be

Its been a short but a journey full of bizzare experiences and exploring various facades of life. From the Mocha of Juhu to the only eatery at night at Mira Road, the assuring hall of Sai Suraj Hostel to the dingy 4 people sharing room at Bhayander, from the PG at Vile Parle to the room at Vijayawada, from Cooper and KFC to the habituated dinner of noodles (hail NESTLE for that), from the varied breakfasts at home to the staple Britannia diet everyday...this life so far has seen a lot...with a great cushion of Adjustment..burdened by Responsibilities

It is very much true that these adjustments were never forced on me..I had ample opportunity to adjust in a different way which wouldn't have made me to write this post today...but the sense of future responsibilities and the ever continuing monetary woes acted as a great catalyst for the same

Whatever be the reasons, at the end of the day, I feel that these adjustments are making me stronger day by day, although my fiancee and parents strongly object to my way of adjustment...but its my take, my choice and my way of living (or rather say sacrifice)....to make my future a future without any such adjustments...

Loneliness

The topic has been hovering in my mind since I have been sent to Vijayawada for Sales Stint.

Some people say that remaining alone helps in knowing urself better...helps in improving concentration and more importantly, helps u think

Well, for me, the first one has been the only learning...and the outcome is really excruciating...its so painful that it makes me feel sad whenever I return to my place after work and especially Weekends...which till now has been dominated by sighs, blank thoughts and lot of saline from the eyes

I dont know wat others feel but my feeling has been : never ever stay alone...go somewhere, try to enjoy..But wait wait..whos preaching...i agree sheer laziness prevented me from doing these but its not always my laziness...I really dont feel like enjoying anything alone...and thats the big deterrent

I have never stayed alone barring initial few days during MBA days which mainly involved knowing my fellow roomies...ever since, its a roller coaster ride..but I have never been lonely..people have stayed with me as friend or foe...whether they criticized or loved me..they have been always there with or against me...so never felt lonely...

I dont know whether its god's grace or future planning to torment me even more that he gave me some real gem of friends whom I miss a lot now (Future planning..I said !!!)

Lying down on my bed, looking blank at the revolving fan and forcefully listening to Telugu songs from the other room (courtsey my flat mate), past continues to flood my present...PARENTS, my home at Kolkata, The boring soaps on TV, The old PC, followed by NM memories (I cant forget them even if I despreately want to...), Quad, the 5 pm lassi and bread pakoda, BEST bus to 7 Bunglows and my single room at Vile Parle, the daily walk to the college with my ipod listening only thru 1 ear (other side of earphone is dead), followed by my short stay at Bangalore..those eagerly waited weekend which has become a curse for me...KFC, Forum and all those...

And I question GOD: Is there any end to these pain? Is there any price for these sacrifices?

And suddenly I realize..the saline has started flowing and has no end too....

WELCOME

Its been a long wait...

A wait full of thought, worry, certain kind of apprehension and lots of confusion has finally been transformed into several personal anecdotes and memories and experiences which I will be writing down here

The wait was overcrowded with worries about peoples feelings - what they will feel about my thoughts, experiences...

But later on I felt that everyone has their own opinions..good bad ugly watever they are...that cant stop me from expressing my feelings

Not like I am downtrading anyone, but I dont feel like to be confined in my own shell which people mistake as my weakness..

More to go

Bye for now